when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
