so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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