It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
