great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
