Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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