3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
everyone is single if you try hard enough
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
