I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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