Betty ford says i'm here all night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
