Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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