oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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