final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
