My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
