So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
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Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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