A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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