And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Do vagina's smell?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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