I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
