Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
