I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.