I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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