I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness