they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All the doctor said was why
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.