is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
