i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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