4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Nicole vs. Life
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize