hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
