Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize