okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
