she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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