Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
