it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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