1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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