is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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