tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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