I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
