i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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