Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
