just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
