Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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