You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
