you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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