his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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