I don't think brook has ever known best
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
