I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
