it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
