oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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