That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
