I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize