We're facebook friends in real life
It's just like the Real World with babies
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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