Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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