can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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