I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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