508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize