Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
