my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
