the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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