...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think my vagina is haunted
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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