I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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