and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
