So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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