I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
