HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
