Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
