so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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