You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
