so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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