Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize