So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
